Every Day is a Holiday

JANUARY

1. New Year's Day
2. Be Sick at Work Day
3. Annual Toadstool Festival
4. Prejudice Day
5. Annual Riot of Left-Wing Birdwatchers
6. Twelfth Night
7. Tournament of Skunk Cabbages
8. Fourteenth Night
9. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
10. Kick a Cocker Spaniel Day
11. Nurse Your Cocker Spaniel Bites Day
12. Drink More Rice Beer Day's Eve
13. Drink More Rice Beer Day.
14. Night of the Marvelous Elephant Tusk
15. Cribbage Team Appreciation Day
16. Take a Gnat to an Oculist Day
17. The Kallikak Family Reunion
18. Wallflowers' Rally 
19. Smoo's Barn Dance
20. Don't Day
21. Kayak Safety Day
22. Alligator Wrestling Matches
23. Gala Accordion Festival
24. Autogyro Day
25. Octuplets' Convention
26. Knish Night
27. Annual Flooding of Lizard Creek
28. Fold an Origami Squid Day
29. Anniversary of the Scranton Sirens Orchestra
30. Tonawanda Marble Tournament
31. Plaid Day

 

FEBRUARY

1. Colonel Bogey's February March
2. Groundhog Day
3. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
4. Fright Wig Night
5. Buy Doilies Now If You're Planning on Making Your Own Valentines Day
6. Be Kind to Ragweed Day
7. Watusi New Year
8. National Wear Baggy Knickers Day
9. Convention of Kazoo Choruses
10. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
11. Schultzmas
12. Lincoln's Birthday
13. Rotten Day
14. Valentine's Day
15. Corliss Gorky's Taffy Pull
16. Return Your Neighbor's Lawnmower Day
17. Armadillo Season
18. Festival of Egret Feathers
19. Annual Preparation for Bock Beer Season
20. National Consult Your Astrologer Day
21. Hysteria Night
22. Washington's Birthday
23. Birthington's Washday
24. Harp Stringers' Strike
25. Anything But That Day
26. Marvin Only's Statue Unveiling
27. Search for the 8 2/3 Hat
28. Grandma Grock's Eyelash Curl

 

MARCH 

1. Take More Seasick Pills Day
2. Dairy Farmers' Spilling Bee
3. Sacrifice to the Gods of Stagnant Water
4. Quicksand Day
5. Thick Day
6. Celebration of Conch Shells
7. Frederick the Great's Clean Handkerchief Day
8. Feast of the Aardvark
9. Speak More Esperanto Day
10. Annual Mourning for Running Boards
11. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
12. One Month After Lincoln's Birthday
13. Grow Your Own Eggplants Day
14. Competition of Banjo Choirs
15. Sloth Day
16. Conley's Annual Garter Pull
17. Cumquat Lovers' Convention
18. Make Your Own Mosaic Mailbox Day
19. Pour Beer in Vesuvius Day
20. Bat Cave Cleaning Day
21. First Day of Spring
22. Disappointment in Spring Day
23. Kyle Knight's Kite Flights
24. Arabian Sheiks' Annual Tent Creep
25. Why Day
26. Why Not Day
27. Be Kind to Bandicoots Day
28. The Mootle Twins' Annual Half-price Avocado Sale
29. Butterfly Net Weavers' Picnic
30. Lint Day
31. Gockle, Kentucky's Annual Jack-O-Lantern Disposal

 

APRIL 

1. April Fools' Day
2. Madam Groong's Annual Seance
3. The Isham Fried's Follies
4. National Clean Your Aquarium Day 
5. Cross Country Yak Races
6. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
7. The Prattville Witch Hunt and Picnic
8. Beaver Dam Dedication Ceremonies
9. Artichoke Festival
10. Rickshaw Rally
11. Coronation of the Lard Queen
12. Quadley's Yo-Yo Competition
13. Hedgehog Day
14. Night of the Blue Moon
15. Uncles' Day
16. Gnome Elections
17. Thoth's Birthday
18. The April Rejuvenation of Jackal Mattresses
19. Anniversary of the Battle of Oxus
20. Sousaphone Day
21. Festival of Tattooed Spats
22. Drink a Toast from a Moustache Cup Day
23. Cecil Clurd's Mah Jongg Victory
24. Laying of the Cornerstone of the Falfurrias, Texas Mosque Anniversary
25. Don't Be Half-Safe Day
26. Arnold Farouk's Polar Bear Curry Combing
27. Twenty-Seven Skiddoo Day
28. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
29. Think Nice Thoughts About Porcupines Day
30. May Eve

 

MAY

1. Flex Your Muscles Day
2. Clean Up After Maypole Dances Day
3. Remembrance of Vess Ossman
4. Good Gnus Day
5. Be Tolerant of Werewolves Day
6. The Feast of Smoo's Groong
7. Three Cheers for Girdles Day
8. Annual Ball Joint Makers Convention
9. Eat Oysters Anyway Day
10. Parade of the Samoan Canoe Carvers
11. Parsley Festival
12. Flea Circus Opens
13. Paramecium Day
14. Monocle Festival
15. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
16. Rutabaga Day
17. Spring Bagpipers' Conclave
18. National Honor Our Sundial Manufacturers Day
19. Made in Japan Day
20. Anniversary of the First Record Made by King Mutt and His Tennessee Tooters
21. Uncle Juan's Annual Haircut
22. International Toad Show
23. The Annual Nose Cone Polish
24. National Arm Garter Day
25. Knees Need Kneaded Erasers Day
26. Homage to the Green Baboon
27. Gala Funnel Comparisons
28. Be Able to Distinguish Bactrian Camels From Dromedaries Day
29. Funny Hat Night
30. Fuzzy Bunny Festival
31. Perique Tobacco Fancier Annual Chain Letter

 

JUNE

1. The Angus Annual Fly Flick
2. Tweed Festival
3. Night of the Phony Ink Blot
4. Gathering of Petrified Forest Rangers
5. Goblins Can Be Fun Day
6. The Groan, Kansas Parsnip Fair
7. Rhinoceros Day
8. Aunt Hortense's Elephant Training School Graduation
9. Ant Farm Harvests
10. Day of the Seventh Tibia
11. Teakwood Toothpick Time
12. The Guam Fossil Finding Contest
13. Dogma Days
14. Paeans to Paraffin Day
15. Rites of the Giant Toad
16. Cactus Exhibit
17. Gorkle's Graham Cracker Dusting
18. Quinge Day
19. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
20. You-Know-What Day
21. First Day of Summer
22. Caterpillar Hunt
23. The Wunch Family Musicale
24. Captain Garfles Hooked Day
25. Papier Mache Sculptors' Workshop
26. Flemming's Genius Anniversary
27. Whew! Day
28. Intemperance Day
29. Feast of the Plaid Tiger
30. Watermelon Seed Spitting Contest

 

JULY

1. July Fools' Day
2. Satyrs' Picnic
3. Stock Up On Red Pop Day
4. Independence Day
5. Witch Doctors' Ice Cream Social
6. Foomsy Winkle's Annual Grasshopper Leap
7. Festival of the Marvelous Garbage
8. Eat More Guava Jelly Day
9. Colonel Grapevine's Bollweevil Stomp
10. Tracy's Great Giraffe Sale
11. Printers' Devils' Weed Growing Contest
12. The Runk Kids' Chicken Gizzard Fight
13. Quoo's Corkscrew Yank
14. Night of the Chartreuse Contact Lenses
15. Get Ready for Tomorrow Day
16. Gnomes Gnight
17. Tug-of-War with Stretch Socks
18. Be Kind to Sponges Day
19. Holiday for Headhunters
20. Middle of the Borscht Circuit
21. Bring an Anteater to Your Picnic Day
22. International Flintlock and Cowrie Exchange
23. Grink's Sale of Used Bustles
24. Independence Day in Greenland -
25. Offender's Day 
26. Feast of the Boiled Thoom
27. Picnic of the Perseids
28. Homage to the Turquoise Crocodile
29. Mauve Day
30. Anniversary of the First Locomotive to Run on Sterilized Guanaco Teeth
31. Hot Day

 

AUGUST

1. November Third in Cambodia
2  Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
3  Why Not Try Boston Baked Coffee Beans Day
4. Settling of the Fluoride Controversy with Spitballs
5. Festival of Jug Bands
6. Deadwood Day
7. Convention of Fringe Cutters
8. The Massive Ironing of Rhinoceros Wrinkles
9. Triplane Races
10. J. Russell Cogwell's Visiting Day
11. Martin's Fingernail Trim
12. August Tarantula Duels
13. Use More Semicolons Day
14. Toasts to Termites
15. Goldenrod Fiesta
16. Galley Slave Sales
17. Parade of the 97-poundWeaklings
18. Mourning for the End of Summer Camp
19. Weakfish Season Opens
20. Anniversary of the Failure of The First Space Ship
21. Garlic Salt Festival
22. Quigley's Bonfire
23. Dinosaur Day
24. Cuba Libres with Puerto Rican Rum Day
25. Convention of the Egyptian Gods
26. Cowardly Young Indians' Powwow
27. The Gluckholm Gala Viking Helmet Polishing
28. Autoharpists' Song Fest
29. Dash Burkis' Drum Tightening Day
30. The Brisbane Bierfest
31. Animal Rummy Championship Tournaments

 

SEPTEMBER 

1. Condition Your Kids for School Day
2. Idleness Day 
3. Indian Simmer
4. The Annual Wurkis Bubble
5. Afternoon of the Lacy Battleship 
6. September Jelly Bean Rolls
7. Amateur Swiss Bell Ringers' Concert
8. Colorado Pete's Rejection Slip Burning
9. Inside Humor Day
10. Miff Frink's Day to Use a Trombone Mute
11. Dirigible Races
12. The Annual Martian Canal Free Swim
13. Make a Lamp from Old License Plates Day
14. Good Gosh Day
15. Gordon's Annual Elephant Madness
16. The Ides of Gwoon
17. The Great Haggis Feast
18. Equal Rights for Men Day
19. Anniversary of the First Electric Bass Drum
20. The Stirring of the Swizzle Sticks
21. Galoshes Day
22. The Giant Used Light Bulb Collection
23. Pasiphae's Second Honeymoon
24. The Annual Tumble Bug Pageant
25. Make a New Enemy Day
26. Fiesta of the Fat Chamois
27. Miss Kwud's Ballet Recital
28. Opossum Day
29. Anniversary of the Morton Gleckle Monument
30. Feast of the Asteroid Belt.

 

OCTOBER

1. Snail's Day 
2. Markle's Private Celebration
3. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
4. Afternoon of a Faun
5. Teabag Festival
6. Use More Goose Quill Pens Day
7. Fiesta of the Ninth Gwab
8. Four Days After Rutherford B. Hayes' Birthday
9. Ogres' Gathering
10. Night of the Frumious Quzzle
11. International Cajoling of Dragonflies
12. Columbus Day
13. Cincinnati Day
14. Gashouse Gang Pancake Supper
15. Department Stores' Christmas Decoration
16. Pigiron Day
17. Anniversary of Peace Between Andorra and Lichtenstein
18. Knight Rupert's Dragon Fight
19. Cliggle's Ecator Click
20. Old Spanish Custom Day
21. Sunbathing Season Ends
22. Rites of the Knix
23. Four Leaf Clover Hunt
24. Fifty-fourth Day of the Oyster Season
25. Helium-filled Balloon Day
26. Anniversary of the First Incubator Hatching of Manta Ray Eggs
27. Night of the Notable Noodle
28. Frozen Celery Day
29. Buy Your Pumpkin Day
30. Birthday of the Perfect Woman
31. Halloween
 

NOVEMBER

1. All Saints Day
2. Most Saints Day 
3. Some Saints Day 
4. Coronation of the Caboose Queen 
5. King Kong's Fourth Edict
6. Bluebeard's Wedding Anniversary
7. Peroxide Your Moustache Day
8. Anniversary of the Founding of the Leaf Hopper Spittle Savers Society
9. Ostrich Ranchers' Winter Retreat
10. Walla Walla Echo Day
11. Massive Chipmunk Hunts
12. Anniversary of the Completion of the New York Subway
13. Prickly Pear Festival
14. Miami and Orlando Ventriloquists' Convention
15. Wart Hog Day
16. Cutworm Hibernation Deadline
17. Yellow Journalism Day
18. Change of Shows at Foom's Dime Museum
19. Parade of the Wooden Clothes Pins
20. Civet Cat Gathering
21. Curing of the Tropic of Cancer
22. Uncle Tom's Cabana Bee
23. Pivot Tooth Day
24. Beeswax Festival 
25. Riot or the Dirty Old Men
26. Annual Sideburn Pageant
27. Anniversary of the Articles of Anarchy
28. Omar Khyaham's Annual Grin
29. Flap Day
30. Toad Hall's Doorsill Painting

 

DECEMBER

1. Afghan Knitter's Gathering
2. Do-Something-Real-Dumb Day
3. Regret It Day
4. Gala Thumbprint Festival
5. Third Day of Preeple
6. Grackle Day
7. The Snowcat Drivers' Ball
8. Throw a Peachpit at a Chihuahua Trainer Day
9. Duck Day
10. Yipe Fiesta
11. The Annual Blindfolded Parchesi Tourney
12. Day of the Great Mickle
13. Procrastinators' Rites of Spring
14. The Turning Off of Air Conditioning at the Wax Museum
15. Cooperative Saxophone Reed Changing
16. Pinz Nez Lens Wipe
17. Chickenfat Collection
18. Get Excited Because It's Almost Christmas Day
19. Be Kind to Computers Day
20. Tharp's Ribbon Tieing
21. First Day of Winter
22. Rites of the Giant Mistletoe
23. Start Being Nice to Mother Day
24. Tom and Jerry Night
25. Merry Christmas !
26. Boxing Day
27. Be Kind to Department Stores Day
28. Wear a Svelte Belt on the Veldt Day
29. Annual Decoration of Moose Antlers
30. Rizal Day
31. New Year's Eve